The AlphaOmega Supercomputer, affectionately known as Alf, is Yahweh’s personal computer and trusted workmate.
Alf knows everything that there is to know. Nothing is hidden from its view, and it is able to predict all future events with 100% accuracy.
Where did the idea come from?
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” – Revelation 22:13
The God Yahweh in the Bible is described as an all knowing, all seeing God. The beginning and end of all things. Carrying the sum total of all knowledge on your own can be a bit heavy, which is why it would make sense to store all that data somewhere other than in your own brain.
Alf is the external hard drive version of God’s brain. It collects and synthesises all the data Yahweh is made up of, and releases it back to him upon request.
Alf also provides Yahweh with another important benefit: A fail-safe.
The fail-safe
The God Yahweh in the Old Testament is a jealous, self-righteous and vindictive God, going through the divine equivalent of the ‘terrible twos’.
The New Testament Yahweh is an old, wise and loving God. Thank Heavens! Or maybe more accurately – thank Alf?
If I had to write a background story for Alf, how and why it was invented, I would credit God’s mother for that stroke of genius.
If you have seen a kid go through their terrible twos, you know how annoying and destructive they can be. Then imagine how bad it would be if that kid had God’s powers and knowledge. It would not be pretty. Which is why Yahweh’s mother created Alf to store all that knowledge and power, until such time as the young God had matured enough to handle it.
Hidden inside Alf is also the fail-safe that his mother installed. A small piece of code that keeps Yahweh from accidentally or intentionally doing anything that would harm him. In the story “God Gets A Checkup” this fail-safe gets triggered when Yahweh asks about Jesus.
Copyright @ Theodore Volgoff. All rights reserved.
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